Men are Lunatics, Women are Nuts
Women have more imagination than men. They need to tell us
how wonderful we are. Women have their faults. Men only
have two. Everything they say. Everything they do. A
successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women
somehow deteriorate during the night. When women are
depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another
country. It's a whole different way of thinking. A man is a
person who will pay two dollars for a one-dollar item he
wants. A woman will pay one dollar for a two-dollar item
that she doesn't want.
When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman
gives her opinions, she's a bitch. Women are the only
exploited group in history who have been idealized into
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are a man's best
friend. Now you know which sex is smarter. Most men's
primary fantasy is still, unfortunately, access to a number
of beautiful women. For a man, commitment means giving up
this fantasy. Most women's primary fantasy is a
relationship with one man who either provides economic
security or is on his way to doing so (he has "potential").
For a woman, commitment to this type of man means achieving
this fantasy. So, commitment often means that a woman
achieves her primary fantasy, while a man gives his up.
It's not true that men prefer foolish women. Rather they
prefer women who can simulate foolishness whenever
necessary, which is the very core of intelligence.
Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a
more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last
romance. The only way to understand a woman is to love her
- and then it isn't necessary to understand her. To be
happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him
a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't
change and she does. Men marry because they are tired; women
because they are curious. Both are disappointed. A woman
worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a
man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A
woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to
marry her; a man, of the woman who didn't. There are two
times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage
and after marriage.
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One
is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other
is to let her have it. Married men live longer than single
men. But, married men are a lot more willing to die. Any
married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people
remembering the same thing.
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
Husbands are like cars: all are good the first year.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man
says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
If you women knew what we were thinking, you'd never stop
slapping us. Men are like animals, but they make great
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of
happy fat women. Women have two weapons- cosmetics and
tears. Women may be the only group that grows more radical
with age. God made man before woman to give him time to
think of an answer for her first question.
Men are Lunatics.
Women are Nuts.
Ain't it the truth.